Growing Golder

I was an angsty kid. I remember my grandmother saying something in Italian as she watched me bounce around her living room. When I inquired my mom told me, "She said you're too hyper." She wasn't wrong.

But life has a way of giving us everything we need.

One day in 1980, my oldest brother asked, "Hey, you wanna go on a run with me?" That day, I gained an outlet for my energy and embarked on a love affair with running that would change the coarse of my life.

At 56, I see reasons for how my life has evolved especially in the things that have caused me anguish. I loathed when my mother would quip in the face of my teenage trials,

"There's a reason for everything!"

Now I believe its not only true, its one of the gifts of getting older.

Enduring a horribly mismatched marriage for 28 years is one trial I'd have rather avoided. Getting married wasn't only a childhood fantasy for me; I grew up watching my parents' tumultuous marriage and waited for the day when I could step up to the plate and chisel out my own perfect family life. LOL!

Divorce should have literally driven me crazy; I never saw it coming. My X and I met at a strict religious college. We understood the gravity of the vows...

Again, life gave me what I needed. I found solace when I saw my children begin to impact the world. The things they've accomplished and the lives they've impacted...it's exponential. I realized that DNA simply had to get together. It validated the time I'd spent married that I was so tempted to lament.

To look back and connect the dots is priceless. To gain an understanding if not as to why things happen, to at least feel an assurance that they happened for some purpose and you were an integral part is fulfilling. Nothing is like watching a complicated puzzle finally come together.

Isn't this why people say, "Oh, if only I could go back again!" With the knowledge and wisdom we have in middle life, we could do it all so much smoother, so much cooler, without the angst and the errors.

But that's just the point...the errors had to happen.

The Japanese art of Kintsugi depicts it best: damage on broken pottery is mended with gold. This not only repairs and strengthens the art, it symbolizes its history and accentuates its beauty. The "imperfections" of our lives create unique value because they highlight resilience and authenticity.

Intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually, life is literally making us golder!