It Can Happen To You

I found love after five years of divorce. Actually, I found it after three decades, because I don’t consider that my married years were based on love so much as a naive attempt to imitate peers, my parents, and older siblings. I'm a Gen Xer who realized early on during those twenty-eight years that “love” had little to do with it. And as many of us know, this sort of thing can happen when you wed at twenty-three.

But at fifty-five, I’ve earned at least the equivalent of a bachelor’s degree in the subject! So, for all who are single, dating, and contemplating whether falling in love in the proverbial sense, actually exists, I answer with a resounding affirmative! And here’s how I know.

First, I never stopped believing it was out there. Did I doubt it at times? Hell, yes! But I would inevitably get back up on that horse again in no time. What drove me? I can assure you I am not a glutton for punishment! Without going all John Calvin or B.F. Skinner on you, I can attest that I’ve been driven by something other than selfish desire, other than romantic delusion. In hindsight, I saw that a transcendent force was guiding me. Seriously. The manner in which my failed romantic endeavors shaped and guided me toward the right man is uncanny; truth is stranger than fiction!

What’s more, I met the person who defines the legendary “puzzle piece.” I could write volumes on the minutiae that connect us. Yes, there are theories about how people choose to see similarities in potential mates when they meet, how it is all a part of the romantic brain that woos us into a relationship for biological purposes, but the details in our case are too many to refute. We fit. And we are astonished at the endless number of ways! Our interlocking seems to reverberate with exponential residuum. Like circles from a pebble thrown in a pond, or a frequency sent out into the universe, unexplained things around us continue to happen in our favor!

As individuals, we’re all idiosyncratic, which can make relationships seem like rocket science, but when you finally find the one, uncanny pieces of your background mesh, making it feel like a million-to-one pairing. And of course, the rent is still due every day. Like everything else in life, things small and large must be worked at, chiseled out, and journeyed through, but that’s all the more reason to believe in and wait for your perfect fit.

Lastly, the classic of all tests for love: Three years ago, I walked away from the relationship I had with this man and it came boomeranging back to me. Circumstances were difficult; he was being dragged through turbulent divorce proceedings; there was no affair, nothing like that, but she was bitter. I was living states away from my teenagers, jetting back and forth in an attempt to keep a strong presence in their lives. We were juggling a lot and after a year and a half, intuitively, we took a few steps back. About a year after we parted, he regretted it. When he finally was able to get in touch with me again, (I’d blocked his number out of fear of experimenting with my broken heart) he had his heart in his hand and was ready for forever. I grabbed hold and the rest blossomed organically.

We both agree life fine-tuned us in the interim. Individually, we’d taken a long, hard look at things we needed to perfect within ourselves during our time apart. Perhaps this is what we needed to really get things in motion. Now, we marvel at the thought that if the stars can align for us, it can happen to anyone.

If a relationship is eluding you, maybe it is as simple as believing that there is someone special out there waiting. If you’re dating, don’t give up. If you’re weathered, take a break. Whatever your situation, take heart. Love is guiding your path more than you realize. It may not come to you in the straight line you expect, but when you are in the perfect place you need to be to receive it, I bet my bottom dollar that love will find you too.